top of page

WELCOME TO

CRUISE WITH PIE

I Asked ChatGPT Why I Love Cruises So Much… and Now I’m Emotionally Unwell (and Crying in a Homemade Pina Colada)

  • Writer: Paige Evatt
    Paige Evatt
  • 4 days ago
  • 4 min read

The buffet is mid. The cups are tiny. The drinks give you a headache. And I’ve never felt more at home.


If you’ve been on a cruise, you either LOVE it... or you’re one of those people who say,

“I’m not really a cruising person.”

To which I respond, jaw unhinged,

“Endless options, relaxation, and fun in the sun aren’t your thing? What’s WRONG with you??”

But if I’m being super honest?

The buffet is mid.

The drinks are weak.

The Main Dining Room is a mix of “fine” and “hey that was pretty good,” but rarely “OMG AMAZING.”


And yet…I’ve never felt more at home than I do at sea.


Even when I’m cruising on a budget - no drink package, no specialty dining upgrades - I know the cups will be tiny and the bacon will be floppy. Still. I go. I book again. I daydream always.


Here’s a not-so-comprehensive guide to why I love cruising so much (despite it all):

Two smiling women stand arm in arm under a covered port walkway, laughing and holding drinks. One wears a black cover-up with yellow sunglasses and cruise lanyards; the other wears a pink swimsuit with a beige mesh set and a holographic fanny pack. Both have cruise ID badges and are preparing to swim with dolphins in Nassau during a 40th birthday cruise on Royal Caribbean’s Utopia of the Seas.
My college bestie + a coffee + a dolphin date = 40th birthday perfection 🐬✨ This was us about to swim with dolphins in Nassau during my February 2025 cruise on Utopia of the Seas. I don’t know what I love more - cruising, caffeine, or Erin. (But probably Erin.) 👯‍♀️

🚢 1. It’s the Only Place I’m Allowed to Fully Exist

On land, I’m the mom. The wife. The lawyer. The photographer. The travel agent. I’m also the emotional triage center for most of my people.

But on a ship? I’m just me.

I don’t owe anyone a reply. A deliverable. A snack. A contract. A ride. I wake up. And I float. With a full staff there to help me.


Breakfast? Someone asks if they can bring juice and coffee for my whole crew. Nobody needs me to load a car or set up a beach tent or make a casserole by 9am.On a ship, I just… be.

Four colorful cocktails sit on a black table inside a stylish lounge aboard Royal Caribbean’s Utopia of the Seas. The background glows with neon lights and abstract art, setting the scene for a fun night ahead. Drinks include two toasted marshmallow old fashioneds, an amaretto based drink with pineapple and orange garnish, and a pink sparkling mocktail called a Berry Press, all served on napkins, marking the group’s first celebratory toast of the cruise.
Our first round of drinks on Utopia of the Seas 🍹✨ She hadn’t even left port yet and we were already emotionally hydrated.

🧠 2. My Brain Finally Gets the Message: “You Can Rest Now.”

My nervous system is in fight-or-flight most days, but the second I step on board and hear that muffled safety announcement in 7 languages? Something in my soul whispers...

“Shhh. You’re safe now.”

No carpool. No inbox. No chaos.

Just waves. Just joy. Just me, being held - literally and emotionally - by a floating sanctuary.

A Royal Caribbean cruise ship, Utopia of the Seas, sails into a glowing sunset over calm ocean waters. The ship leaves a gentle wake behind as it moves forward, with pastel pink and orange skies reflecting on the water. The view captures a peaceful, dreamlike moment at sea, symbolizing freedom, escape, and serenity.
When I step onboard, something in my soul whispers, "Shhh. You’re safe now."

🛎️ 3. It’s a Predictable Escape

Even when things are “mid,” I know what I’m getting:

  • A sunrise on the balcony

  • That sacred post-shower, pre-dinner moment in a fluffy robe

  • A stupid DJ song I pretend to hate but dance to anyway

  • Dessert followed by showtime followed by sea breeze


It’s curated joy. And even average experiences feel magical in a space that’s designed to let you breathe.


Your real life isn’t curated for pleasure.

The ship is.

A close-up of the signature Parker House roll served at 150 Central Park aboard Utopia of the Seas. The golden-brown roll is brushed with truffle butter and topped with lemon pepper and thyme, sitting on a small white plate. Soft, pillowy, and glistening, the bread is plated simply—inviting, warm, and unforgettable.
While most cruise food is decent - good even - but not OMG amazing, every now and then something surprises you. And this? This bread was that thing. I still dream about it. Soft, warm, brushed with truffle butter and kissed with lemon pepper and thyme... the Parker House roll at 150 Central Park is, without a doubt, the best bread I’ve ever eaten. I’d book another specialty dining package for this bread alone. No notes. Just carbs and joy.

💬 4. Micro-Connection Heaven

Cruises are full of safe social energy.

There’s no pressure, no networking - just little moments of,

“Did we just become best friends?”

You people-watch. You chat with strangers. You win at trivia. You cheer for someone at karaoke.You connect without effort.


It's human joy, on shuffle.

A group of four smiling women pose with a male server inside Chops Grille, the specialty steakhouse aboard Royal Caribbean’s Utopia of the Seas. The women are wearing cruise lanyards and a mix of casual and themed outfits, including a pink retro-style outfit and a letterman jacket. The server stands centered in a formal vest and tie, smiling warmly. The group is gathered under elegant lighting, with folded napkins and wine glasses visible on the table.
Our last night on Utopia of the Seas ended with steaks, laughs, and one of the most genuinely kind and attentive servers we’ve ever had. Huge thank you to the Chops Grille team for treating us like royalty and shoutout to these cruise sisters who made every moment feel like magic. 🥩🍷✨

👑 5. Main Character Energy: Unlocked

Where else can you:

  • Walk dramatically down a windy deck like you’re in a music video

  • Get full glam just for “formal night”

  • Tiptoe into a silent solarium like a sunrise goddess

  • Enter a “World’s Sexiest Man” contest and actually win

  • Have people CLAP when you know the answer to cruise trivia


Cruises let you cosplay the version of yourself that feels worthy. No shame. No pretense. Just pure, unapologetic fun.

Four smiling women pose together at the entrance sign for Coco Beach Club on Royal Caribbean’s private island, Perfect Day at CocoCay. All are wearing sun hats or sunglasses and light beachwear, beaming in the sunshine. Lush greenery and a stone path frame the background, capturing the start of a luxurious, carefree day.
Us at the entrance to Coco Beach Club - a place designed exclusively for main character energy 💅☀️ We came for the floating cabanas and gourmet vibes, but we stayed for the mood. This is how you do Perfect Day at CocoCay.

⚓ 6. It’s a Floating Time Capsule of Who I Could Be

Every cruise, I meet a version of myself I forgot:

  • The silly one.

  • The soft one.

  • The spontaneous one.

  • The one who dances.

And she whispers,

“Hey… I’m still here. Let’s go find a hot tub.”

No, I don’t love cruises because they’re perfect.I love them because, for a few days, they make me feel like I am.


I don’t have to earn my rest.

I don’t have to justify my joy.

I just float.

A tranquil ocean sunset taken somewhere in the Bahamas. The water below is dark and gently rippled, while the sky above fades from deep blue to warm orange near the horizon. A single star shines in the upper right, casting a peaceful, almost spiritual energy across the scene.
📍 Somewhere in the Bahamas - One star above, endless calm below, and every reason to believe the sea really does heal. This sunset didn’t ask for attention… but it stole it anyway. 🌅✨

So yeah.

The cups are small.

But I’m vast.

And cruise ships?

They’re the only places big enough to hold me.

❤️🛳️🍹

Comments

bottom of page